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    The Week In Review

    Slideshow • ISSUE 46•34 • Aug 30, 2010
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    • Report: Mom Just Locked Her Door

      ROANOKE, VA—Speculation persists as to what could have provoked Mom’s tense exit, with some citing the failure of Tyler to pick up his toys from the staircase, and others placing the blame on Katie and Joseph’s repeated failure to set the table as requested, or on Dad failing to put his book down and help out for once.
      1 of 10
    • Encyclopedic Knowledge Not So Handsomely Bound

      2 of 10
    • TIME Announces New Version Of Magazine Aimed At Adults

      Doing away with kid-friendly info bubbles and colorful photos, new 'TIME Advanced' will cater to adults with an interest in news.
      3 of 10
    • Smart, Qualified People Behind The Scenes Keeping America Safe: 'We Don't Exist'

      WASHINGTON—Members of the brilliant, highly trained, and dedicated team of elite professionals who work tirelessly behind the scenes to protect our nation and keep its citizens out of harm’s way announced Tuesday that they do not exist.
      4 of 10
    • Lance Armstrong Wants To Tell Nation Something But Nation Has To Promise Not To Get Mad

      DALLAS—Saying that it would probably be best if everyone sat down for this, seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong informed the U.S.
      5 of 10
    • Local Water Tower Celebrates 50th Year As Repository Of Information On Who Is A Slut

      CONCORDIA, MO—According to University of Missouri histor­ian Elliot Torcello, the remarkably well-preserved tower is recognized throughout the region as an indispensable archive detailing which women in the area are promiscuous, as well as whether or not they have crabs.
      6 of 10
    • In The Know: Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don't Give A Shit?

      Panelists discuss the many ways in which our educational system caters to students who try, care, are awake.
      7 of 10
    • Sudanese Elephant Trying To Forget

      8 of 10
    • Martin Scorsese Attends Free iMovie Demonstration At Apple Store

      NEW YORK—"Importing, editing, post-production—they got it all on the computer," said Scorsese, who arrived 20 minutes early for the in-store workshop. "I like it. You can make your pictures right on there, it's tremendous."
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    • It's Official!

      10 of 10
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