American Voices

The Winter Olympics

February 11, 1998 | ISSUE 33•05

The 18th Olympic Winter Games began this week, turning the world's attention to Nagano, Japan. What do you think about the arrival of this quadrennial athletic event?

  • Yeah! Time to kick some Towelhead butt! USA! USA! Oh, the Olympics? Shit. I thought you said 'war.'

    Tyler Hunt
    Shipping Clerk

  • You know, I was just saying the other day that there isn't enough ice-skating on television.

    Larry Baer
    Architect

  • There is nothing more thrilling than watching spandex-clad Aryans lay on top of each other at high speeds via nine-hour tape delay from Japan.

    Roy Strypczynski
    Systems Analyst

  • Olympics? I think I ate there once. They have, like, cheeseburgers and gyros and stuff, right?

    David Puhl
    Construction Worker

  • Thank goodness they've added Autumn Olympics in 1999 and Spring Olympics in 2001. No year is complete without a once-every-four-years Olympic competition.

    Caroline Kelley
    Student

  • I am so excited, I'm going to run out and use my Visa card right now.

    Marie Colquitt
    Civil Engineer

Recent American Voices
The Onion

[x] Click to close

© Copyright 2012, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.