2CARPENTERSVILLE, IL—Local third-grader Dylan Gardener, 8, prayed before bed Sunday that a steep decline in tax revenues combined with the decisive failure of a recent bond measure would force school closings throughout the greater Chicago area tomorrow. "Please, God, let there be a severe budget shortfall that leads to a skyrocketing state deficit that leads to a legislative stalemate, which in turn forces all non-vital government institutions to close down for the day so I don't have to go to school," the youngster said as he knelt before his bed. "I want to go sledding in the park." At press time, sources confirmed Dylan's prayers had been answered indefinitely.
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