1WASHINGTON, DC—Beloved veteran actor Tom Bosley, star of Happy Days and Father Dowling Mysteries, was appointed U.S. Secretary of Naps Tuesday. "I think the American people can be comfortable with Mr. Bosley's solid record on napping," President Clinton said. "He will serve our nation's napping interests well." Bosley's platform includes a 20-minute snooze at his desk during daylight hours, an occasional dozing-off toward the end of the day, and prolonged weekend lie-downs at home in the early evening hours, when, Bosley said, "I tend to get really sleepy."
More News in Brief
‘Whitey Bulger Ordered The Murder Of 19 People,’ Reports Anonymous Rat Bastard
BOSTON—One week into the criminal trial of alleged mobster James “Whitey” Bulger, reports surfaced Monday that the accused organized crime kingpin ordered the murders ...
New Iranian President Really Impressed With Country’s Nuclear Arms Program
TEHRAN—After touring various energy plants and fusion reactors throughout the country, newly elected Iranian President Hasan Rowhani told reporters Monday that he is incredibly ...
Nelson Mandela Admits Thoughts, Prayers Of Millions Played No Part In Recovery
‘My Doctors Treated Me,’ Explains South African Icon
PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA—Addressing supporters Monday from the hospital bed where he is being treated for a recurring lung infection, former South African president Nelson ...
