This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review:

  1. Stop Thinking, You're Already RightRight Hock Thurbugh (Patriot Press, $34.59)The author issues a rousing call to stop paying attention to real-world facts or reflecting on any alternative opinions that might threaten to upend the notions you already possess and instead just focus on being you.
  2. The Onion Book Of Known KnowledgeThe Onion (Little, Brown, $29.99)The most essential and authoritative book ever written in the history of human civilization, boasting an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees certain to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer.
  3. Rich Dad Poor DadRobert T. Kiyosaki (Plata Publishing, $12.99)See which kind yours is.
  4. Math For People Who Hate NumbersBarbara St. Cloud (W.H. Freeman, $114.00)This advanced algebra textbook helps mathematically challenged individuals by doing away with all those complicated-looking digits and formulas and simply spelling out every number and mathematical symbol as a normal word instead.
  5. Pope John Paul II: A LifeDan Swans (Doubleday, $19.99)Inside the mind of the world’s biggest Sanford And Son fan.