This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review:

  1. HopscotchDavid Herowitz (Manning, $18.99) A book with a fun-sounding title, but the cover’s dark colors and bold fonts make it clear that it’s actually a thriller.
  2. The Sun: An AutobiographyThe Sun (Knopf, $24.99)The exothermic ball of gas at the center of our solar system takes the reader through its 4.57-billion-year life, from its humble start in the fashion journalism industry to becoming the life-giving celestial body that it is today.
  3. The Woman Who Had Surprising Things Happen To Her In Regular IntervalsJanet Bergan (Noir Books, $12.99)A story of a woman who had exciting, increasingly tense events happen to her in chapter-length installments.
  4. Building BridgesChris Rogers (McGraw-Hill, $40.00)A guide for building suspension bridges. Sorry if you thought the bridges were going to be metaphors.
  5. How To Sit ComfortablyJohn ‘Gangles’ Carling (Bantam Books, $14.99)101 sitting strategies for men with really long, dangly legs.