This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review:

  1. Go, Fucking Dog, Go: An I Can Read It All By My Goddamn Self BookP.D. Eastman (Random House, $11.99)The classic children’s tale is now punctuated with profanity for parents who like that sort of thing.
  2. The Onion Book Of Known KnowledgeThe Onion (Little, Brown, $29.99)Containing more than 500 tons of information, this definitive encyclopedia of all worldly facts in existence is the most essential and authoritative book ever written in the history of human civilization.
  3. 2012 Zoning And Subdivision Regulations For Westport, ConnecticutWestport City Council (City of Westport, $35.99)This hot new volume of residential, commercial, and industrial construction and use laws blows the 2011 edition right out of the water.
  4. Delilah’s Last DanceMadeline Thompson (Random House, $21.99)In case you can’t figure it out, Delilah has cancer.
  5. The Walking Dead And ZombiesRobert Kirkman (Image Comics, $24.99)This zombie-zombie mashup asks what would happen if the living dead encountered even more zombies.