CorrectionsOpinion ISSUE 48•11 Mar 14, 2012

Early this morning one of our deliverymen managed to run over not one but two dogs along Beacon Street. The Onion sends its heartfelt apologies to the families of Koda and Beans.

More Corrections

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Last Tuesday, The Onion accidentally printed a photo of a nun feeding an apple to a horse everywhere a photo belonged.

The Birthday Girl

An article yesterday repeatedly referred to Hillary Clinton as “the birthday girl.” This was unprofessional and entirely inaccurate.

We're So Sorry

The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.