NEW YORK—It was learned Monday that for many decades, an "underground railroad" has been in operation in New York City, transporting thousands of slaves from Brooklyn to Manhattan each day through an intricate series of subterranean tunnels. "These slaves suffer terribly, and they need our help," said William Erlich, director of the underground railroad, also known as the Metropolitan Transit Authority. "They live in cramped quarters far from their cruel employers, and would have to walk very far if not for the assistance of a dedicated band of modern-day Harriet Tubmans, determined to get them to their jobs well-rested and ready for a long day of toil."
More News in Brief
3-Day Weekend Practically Already Over
WASHINGTON—According to sources, the long Memorial Day weekend in honor of Monday’s federal holiday is practically over already, with the hours left in ...
Biden Investigated For Questionable Workers’ Comp Claim
WASHINGTON—Weeks after accepting a workers’ compensation settlement for a personal injury he purportedly sustained on the job, Vice President Joe Biden is under investigation ...
Gay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second Thing
SUGAR LAND, TX—Shortly after reports surfaced today that the Boy Scouts of America had voted to lift its ban on gay youths, local homosexual ...



16
