INDEPENDENCE, MO—At a press conference Monday, former president Harry S Truman declared that U.S. anachronism levels are at "an all-time high." Responding to the recent rash of jitterbugging, British taxation without representation, and talk of the Teapot Dome scandal, the deceased leader called on all citizens to "join me and Bess in saving up scrap iron for the war so our boys over there can drive the Spanish back." Truman also urged citizens to use caution when using whale-blubber-burning oil lamps.