STAMFORD, CT—In a breach of decorum never before seen in the history of the noble art, a ventriloquist's dummy named Chesterfield shocked onlookers this past Friday by referring to his partner, Professor Eugene Krebsen, as "the real dummy." Gasps turned to shouts of outrage in the Looking Glass Theater as the wooden doll's words settled across the audience, and what had been a sharp but kindhearted exchange between two seeming friends turned ugly. "Why, I couldn't believe my ears," said audience member Henrietta Flemming, sitting beside her husband, Harold Flemming. "And what's more, he lobbed that terrible insult while poor Professor Krebsen was trying to enjoy a nice glass of water." Patrons of the Looking Glass have not been this upset since stage magician Palmer the Great had the audacity to set an audience member's wallet on fire.
More News in Brief
Gay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second Thing
SUGAR LAND, TX—Shortly after reports surfaced today that the Boy Scouts of America had voted to lift its ban on gay youths, local homosexual ...
Man Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up Antibiotics
SEATTLE—Citing “subtle notes of ethambutol and clindamycin,” longtime McDonald’s customer Chris Hingle reported Thursday that he could discern from the taste of his ...
Kate Middleton Suffering From Morning Sickness
LONDON—Just two months away from Kate Middleton’s speculated July due date, sources close to the Royal Family confirmed today the pregnant Duchess of ...



0

