Last ray of hope until spring
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    War & Violence

    Slideshow • ISSUE 44•34 • Aug 26, 2008
    • Facebook4
    • Twitter0
    • Google Plus0
    • TV Blamed For Rise In Formulaic Violence

      WASHINGTON, DC—Concerned citizens are demanding government action against television shows that promote bloodless, formulaic violence.
      1 of 10
    • Cheney Offspring Bursts From Bush's Chest

      2 of 10
    • Bloodless Coup A Real Letdown

      BISHKEK, KYRGYZSTAN—The masterminds behind the bloodless coup d'etat that wrested power from President Askar Akayev Sunday said they were disappointed by the peaceful, efficient execution of the regime change.
      3 of 10
    • Boxing Gym Gives Inner-City Youths An Opportunity To Punch Each Other Indoors

      BROOKLYN, NY—Troubled young men and women have used the gym to develop valuable punching skills they can use for the rest of their lives.
      4 of 10
    • Wii Video Games Blamed For Rise In Effeminate Violence

      WASHINGTON—
      5 of 10
    • Trail Of Lawn-Mower Assassin Still Fresh

      6 of 10
    • U.S. Counter-Counterterrorism Unit Successfully Destroys Washington Monument

      WASHINGTON, DC—"Now it can never be destroyed by terrorists," said DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff, pointing to the blackened stump of the 122-year-old obelisk.
      7 of 10
    • Five Or Six Dudes Jump Out Of Nowhere And Just Start Whaling On This One Guy

      BOULDER, CO—Some seriously wigged-out shit went down at 2 or 3 a.m., pizza-delivery guy Lyle Kelso reported.
      8 of 10
    • War On String May Be Unwinnable, Says Cat General

      9 of 10
    • James Gandolfini Shot By Closure-Seeking Fan

      NEW YORK, NY —
      10 of 10
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • Summer Recreation

      • The Week In Review

      • Cheney On The Court

      • The Week In Review

      • The Elderly

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    News

    Lifestyle

    Lifestyle

    News

    Travel

    News

    Recent News

    Father Excitedly Tells 10-Year-Old Son About New Video Game System‘Our Thoughts Go Out To Oklahoma,’ Says Congressman Mentally Calculating When He Can Bring Up Benghazi Again24-Year-Old Receives Sage Counsel From Venerable 27-Year-Old2013 Year In Review Photo Essay Shaping Up To Be Quite HorrificAmericans Dredge Up Last Remaining Reserves Of GriefMan Derives Depressing Amount Of Pride From Hometown Burger Chain‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Missions To Focus Largely On Tutoring, Community Outreach

    Recent Videos

    Tim Allen, Mark Wahlberg, And Tara Reid Spotted At Starbucks Discussing Oh God What Are They Planning?

    David Fincher To Helm YouTube’s First Hour-Long Drama Series 'Turtle Has Sex With Shoes'Every Glass In Grandmother’s Cupboard Visibly Filthy

    • Newswire: So it turns out Shia LaBeouf won't be using his penis in the new Lars Von Trier movie

    • TV: Great Job, Internet!: Here are UPN's original promos for the Buffy The Vampire Slayer finale

    • TV: Newswire: Ricky Gervais' Derek, the show about the mentally challenged man, sets Netflix debut date

    • How to Traumatize Your Children Book

    • Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses

    • Cheat to Win Bracelet

    • The Best Of Today Now!: Fresh Roasted Cup Of News

    • Tim Allen, Mark Wahlberg, And Tara Reid Spotted At Cafe Discussing Oh God What Are They Planning?

    • Your Insides Look Like Smashed Tomatoes - Dr. Good - Ep. 1

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Onion News Empire
    • The Onion Live!
    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved