LOS ANGELES—A high-powered, rich, and famous industry player is routinely described as “low-key” and “totally down-to-earth” by countless acquaintances and friends, each and every one of whom is lying through their teeth, sources confirmed Thursday. “He’s just like this cool, normal guy,” said one lying acquaintance, trying to project an image wherein the massive celebrity seems approachable and humble, both attributes that the Hollywood megastar doesn’t even come close to embodying. “I knew him before he had all this success, and trust me, wealth hasn’t changed him. He’s friendly, relatable, and just a general salt-of-the-earth dude.” At press time, the celebrity’s acquaintances were checking this article to see if they were quoted, in hopes that the famous individual would also see the piece, take note of their loyalty, and then go on to use his industry clout to give them opportunities to make large sums of money or acquire fame themselves.