How do we live like this?
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    The Week In Pictures – Week Of June 10, 2013

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 49•23 • Jun 10, 2013
    • Facebook18
    • Twitter53
    • Google Plus4
    • Angelina Jolie Stuns In First Rollerblading Competition Since Double Mastectomy

      ARCADIA, CA—Famed actress and activist Angelina Jolie wowed Grindside Street Comp spectators Sunday in her first public aggressive inline skating competition since undergoing a preventive double mastectomy earlier this year.
      1 of 15
    • 12-Year-Old Camper Excited To Meet Girls Who Will Torture Her For Rest Of Summer

      MT. LEBANON, PA—While enjoying the first day of her four-week stay at North Winds Summer Camp, 12-year-old Tracy Rowley told reporters Monday how thrilled she is to meet her fellow girl campers who will spend the rest of the summer mercilessly teasi...
      2 of 15
    • Eric Holder Loads iPod With AP Phone Conversations For Morning Commute

      WASHINGTON—While preparing to leave for work Monday, U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder reportedly loaded up his iPod with dozens of Associated Press reporters’ confidential phone conversations to enjoy on his morning commute.
      3 of 15
    • Vain Galápagos Tortoise Trying To Pass For 90

      TORTUGA BAY, GALAPAGOS­—Saying the aging reptile is “really embarrassing himself,” leading herpetologists expressed embarrassment Monday on behalf of Old Bill, a local giant tortoise who reportedly makes tremendous efforts to appear ...
      4 of 15
    • New Liver Complains Of Difficulty Working With Lou Reed

      NEW YORK—Just weeks after being transplanted into Lou Reed’s abdomen, a 3.5-pound donor liver voiced complaints to reporters Monday about the difficulty of working with the “temperamental” rock legend.
      5 of 15
    • Chuck E. Cheese's Announces New Lower Prices, But The Restaurants Will Be Dirtier

      IRVING, TX—Promoting itself as “America’s best value in family-friendly fun,” pizza restaurant and entertainment center Chuck E.
      6 of 15
    • 'The Internship' Poised To Be Biggest Comedy Of 2005

      Critics say the upcoming Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson film about interning at Google has everything an audience in 2005 could want in a comedy.
      7 of 15
    • Dollar Tree CEO Officially Unveils Long-Rumored Foil Baking Pan

      CHESAPEAKE, VA—At a highly anticipated launch event Tuesday, Dollar Tree CEO Bob Sasser ended months of fervent speculation over the latest phase of the national discount chain’s massively popular and influential kitchen products line by unvei...
      8 of 15
    • Kate Middleton Feels Royal Baby Kicking During Queen’s Coronation Anniversary

      LONDON—Midway through the ceremony marking the 60th anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II’s coronation, sources close to the Royal Family confirmed today that Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton felt her royal baby kicking inside the womb.
      9 of 15
    • Local Laundromat Employs Social Media Coordinator

      CHESTER, PA—Saying that it was the next logical step for the company, the owners of local laundromat Sudz Cleaners told reporters Tuesday that they had recently hired social media coordinator Dan Elmets, 26, to lead the development and execution of ...
      10 of 15
    • Taylor Swift Enters Alternate Universe To Date Body-Building George Harrison

      LOS ANGELES—In just the latest in a series of whirlwind romances, sources confirmed today that singer-songwriter Taylor Swift entered an alternate universe parallel to our own earlier this week and stepped out with famed English powerlifter George H...
      11 of 15
    • Street Musician's Mother Really On His Case About Practicing His Buckets

      NEW YORK—Insisting that if the young street musician doesn’t apply himself more, he’ll never work his way up to a good busking spot in Times Square, local mother Rita Skolnick reportedly told her son Wednesday to “go upstairs right...
      12 of 15
    • Man Invisible On Gchat Observes World From Impregnable Perch

      ST. LOUIS—Having earlier in the day set his Gchat status to “invisible,” local man Jeff Young, 29, reportedly spent his Wednesday afternoon monitoring the comings and goings of his various online contacts as a silent and unknowable obser...
      13 of 15
    • Obama Takes Excited Daughters Out For Day Of Drone-Watching

      WANA, PAKISTAN—Calling it a chance to get some fresh air and learn about the unmanned aerial vehicles inhabiting the Middle East, President Barack Obama took his daughters Sasha and Malia out to the tribal territories of Pakistan for an exciting aft...
      14 of 15
    • Guy 30 Seconds Into Karaoke Version Of ‘Man In The Mirror’ Better Get His Act Together

      Sources at Charley’s Bar and Grille are reporting that local man Peter Kagan, 34, who is currently 30 seconds into a karaoke version of the 1988 Michael Jackson song “Man In The Mirror,” better get his goddamn act together sometime fucki...
      15 of 15
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • The Onion's Coverage Of Internet Privacy

      • The Week In Sports – Week Of June 7, 2013

      • 8 Photos Of You, The Reader

      • 10

      • 9 MUST-FOLLOW Al-Qaeda Leaders On Twitter

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    LIFESTYLE

    NEWS

    SPORTS

    ENTERTAINMENT

    NEWS

    NEWS

    Recent News

    Asshole Awarded For Asshole Behavior By Business Community LeadersGrown Adult Walks Right Into Karate StudioWoman Apparently Wants To Smell EdibleFans Of Green Screens, Incredibly Fake-Looking Things Express Love For Modern CinemaBashar Al-Assad Introduces Syrian Bike-Sharing ProgramDick Van Dyke Finally Confesses To Zodiac KillingsOpen Dialogue Two Americans Having About Race Pretty Hilarious

    Recent Videos

    Area Desk Doesn't Mind If People Sit On It Like A Chair Every Once In Awhile

    Economists: People Who Paint Selves Silver And Pretend To Be Statues Make Average Of $10 Million Per YearPerfectly Shitty Couch Sitting On Curb

    • Film: Newswire: R.I.P. French actress Bernadette Lafont

    • Film: Newswire: A Pacific Rim sequel is now more likely thanks to China

    • Gilmore Girls, "Teach Me Tonight"/"Help Wanted"

    • WTF Desktop NotePad

    • Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder Magnet

    • "I'm a Douche" Coffee Mug

    • A.V. Club Pop Pilgrims: We visit the photo-shoot site that's become a monument to Elliott Smith

    • ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead covers The Kinks' "Sunny Afternoon"

    • A Recap Of This Week's Royal Baby Coverage

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved