According to a report in TheWashington Post, Gen. David Petraeus and other American military commanders were given access to $5 billion in discretionary funds to spend on various projects like a now-defunct $1 million water park in Baghdad. Here are some of the places the money went to:

  • $10 million—Free "I Love the Surge" bumper sticker and T-shirt program
  • $13 million—Retrofitting Saddam's sex palace to create municipal sex library
  • $125,000—Amphibious, duck-shaped Tigris River tour boat
  • $300,000—Funyuns Military Blend
  • $9,000—The Offspring's booking fee
  • $100 million—Given to this guy who promised he would build a chain of really awesome after-school clubs and skate parks but who, in retrospect, was probably Muqtada al-Sadr
  • $7.1 million—Really nice big statue of Muhammad to cheer everyone in Baghdad up
  • $6 million—Ultimately abandoned Frank Gehry blueprints for Iraq's entire infrastructure
  • $4 million—Dance hall; men only
  • $60 million—Blowing up bridge E.U. forces need to leave