• Malachy O'Halloran: Dorchester, MA retired ironworker, bar regular, and professional Irish American
  • You: Could probably predict how Ted Kennedy would vote by now
  • Tommy Musgrove: This high-school civics student is said to be considering a senate run as his senior project
  • Vampire Ted Kennedy: A desire to see health reform through an unquenchable thirst for blood could propel this political legend back onto the national stage
  • Marvin D. Johnson: Younger brother of Lyndon B. Johnson claims that he should assume Kennedy's position on grounds of historical continuity
  • Brian Dennehy: Will need a gig after quickie Ted Kennedy biopic wraps
  • Wally the Green Monster: Red Sox mascot may be the only candidate whose broad-based regional appeal, physical stature, and comically oversized head could live up to the late senator's
  • Probably some asshole