CorrectionsOpinion ISSUE 48•11 Mar 17, 2012

Contrary to what was reported yesterday, there are no more free whole-fryer chickens just lying on the ground outside the loading dock at Ed's Foods. Stop going down there; they're gone. The Onion regrets the error.

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Cucumber Mixup

In Monday’s issue, we misspelled “cucumber” as “konkowbar.” We regret the error.

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Our Pleasure

A recent correction claimed that The Onion regretted an error when, in fact, it took secret pleasure in the error.