3MENDHAM, NJ—What are residents of this normally quiet suburban enclave looking at? Are they looking at 34-year-old resident Darren Pollard? Is that it? Yeah, Pollard, who has reportedly consumed 11 beers in the past four hours, is drunk, but so what? Does the greater Mendham area have some kind of problem with that? Shit, Pollard, a truck driver and father of three, drinks when he wants to drink, and a small crowd of pedestrians outside Mickey's Old Towne Tavern had better believe that. Mother fuck—get off of Pollard, man, Pollard is sick of taking shit from local law-enforcement officials. Who does Lt. Tim Brophy, 42, of the Mendham Police Department think he is, fuckin' Rambo? This is bullshit.
More News in Brief
Everyone Forgets To Bring Swimsuits To Coworker’s Party
'What Are The Odds?' Pasty, Flabby Colleagues Say
ARLINGTON, TX—While gathered for a party at a coworker’s backyard pool Saturday, out-of-shape colleagues at Shuster, Layne & Associates were struck by the coincidence ...
Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker
BROOKLYN, NY—Running his hands through his freshly showered hair while hanging his backpack on the back of his chair, unbearably chipper little motherfucker Dave ...
Call From Daycare Can't Be Good
HARRISBURG, PA—Speculating that the rest of her day will now definitely take a turn for the worse, local mother Nicole Mendlow confirmed Friday that ...
