Horoscope

06.06.07 | ISSUE 43•23

  • Your Birthday Today This is an important week for you, as you'll learn the valuable lesson that people will forgive the well-dressed man almost anything.
  • Aries You'll take a bold stand against hundreds of years of accepted business practices when you refuse to base your in-office wardrobe on a two-button navy blue suit.
  • Taurus The stars see nothing wrong with chiding someone for wearing pleat-fronted khakis, but it's better to go easy on someone wearing the same style of pant in a gabardine.
  • Gemini Take care this week when purchasing hand-made loafers, as many of the modern designers use sole leather prone to slippage and cracking.
  • Cancer You'll be the object of mockery for days after mistakenly telling your tailor to use too shallow a break in the cuffs of your trousers.
  • Leo While there's no doubt that plastic collar stays have their place in the fast-paced modern world, Jupiter ascendant in Leo means it's time to invest in a set crafted from old-fashioned brass.
  • Virgo With the right collar, three-button sport coats don't have to look old fashioned, and they can often accommodate PDAs or smartphones in their more generous interior pockets.
  • Libra A mysterious stranger will appear and teach you how a suit in a bold (not to say loud) checked pattern can add dignified character to your closet, as long as you augment it with plain shirts and solid ties.
  • Scorpio A summer-weight wool suit is a nice idea, but let's face it: Wool is still wool.
  • Sagittarius This is a good time to make changes in the workplace, especially if you have the kind of quiet authority a pair of heirloom-quality cuff links confer.
  • Capricorn Fear will be your prime motivator this week, but don't be afraid to wear brown shoes with a blue suit as long as the shoes are well-kept and match your belt.
  • Aquarius Self-honesty is the most difficult road a man can walk, especially when one is forced to admit that almost no one looks good in both tweeds and pinstripes.
  • Pisces Discomfort will be your greatest obstacle this week; no matter who tailored it or how good it looks on the hanger, you won't look good in it if you're not comfortable.
  • Past Horoscopes

    • February 7, 2012

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    • January 31, 2012

      Aries You've got tough row to hoe in front of you this week, which seems like merely a folksy euphemism until you find you've inherited a run-down potato farm. Taurus Conflicts at work and at home are cleared up instantl...

    • January 24, 2012

      Aries Your death next week will seem in­explicable until people remember the ill-advised 1985 "cross your heart and hope to die" pledge you made to be best friends with Jenny Bosben. Taurus Your fear of pub...

    • January 17, 2012

      Aries Jupiter rising in your sign is usually an indicator of prosperous ambitions, but when it just keeps coming right at you, it becomes downright terrifying. Taurus You have yet to find a love worthy of your unique aff...

    • January 10, 2012

      Aries You're not sure if your new mousetrap is better, but due to its horrifying use of liquefying blades, the world will beat a path to your door out of sheer morbid curiosity. Taurus You'll need to find new solutions t...

    • January 3, 2012

      Aries To improve your spiritual health, avoid the myriad temptations of the flesh. This is most easily accomplished by repeating the word "flesh" over and over until it creeps you out. Taurus Most accidents occ...

    • December 6, 2011

      Aries Sleep will continue to elude you this week, so keep binging on coffee and amphetamines until you have enough energy to catch it. Taurus You're not the sort of person who panics easily, which will keep you from gett...

    • November 15, 2011

      Aries They say your problem is inoperable, but they're wrong: It's just incurable. Go ahead and do all the operating you want. Taurus You've never believed you were the poisoning type, but judging from all the news cover...

    • November 8, 2011

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    See All Horoscopes
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