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Vol 44 Issue 31

L.A. Bans Fast Food

The Los Angeles City Council passed a one-year moratorium on new fast-food establishments opening in South Los Angeles where 30 percent of the...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Dating

Woman Begins To Regret Dating Someone Spontaneous
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Short-Distance Relationship Too Much Work
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Queen Elizabeth II Announces She's Pregnant Again
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Sorta-Attractive Girl Half-Heartedly Hit On
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Boyfriend Ready To Take Relationship To Previous Level
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Rhino, Tickbird Stuck In Dead-End Symbiotic Relationship
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Divorced Branding Exec Generates Buzz Before Getting Back Out There
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Conspiracy Theorist Has Elaborate Explanation For Why He's Single
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Breakup Secretly Hilarious To Friends
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Date Disastrously Bypasses Physical Intimacy, Goes Straight To Emotional Intimacy
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