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Vol 45 Issue 34

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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Dogs

Area Dog Will Never Live Up To Dog On Purina Bag
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New Dog Digs Up Old Dog
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Drug-Sniffing Dog Develops Taste For Bit-O-Honeys
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Dog Breeders Issue Massive Recall Of '07 Pugs
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Dog Befriends Roomba
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Restaurant Fires Pizza-Delivery Dog
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So-Called Obese Pets Held To Unrealistic Body Standards
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Dog Urine Lowers Heart-Attack Risk, Say Snickering Researchers
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Nation's Dog Owners Demand To Know Who's A Good Boy
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