Drugs In America

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Vol 45 Issue 21

Archie To Choose Betty Or Veronica

After nearly 68 years, a grown-up Archie Andrews will ask either Betty or Veronica for her hand in marriage in an upcoming issue of his eponymous...

Guantánamo Closure Delayed

By a margin of 90-6, the Senate voted down funding to relocate the 240 inmates being held at Guantánamo Bay to facilities on American soil....
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.


  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

Drugs In America

'Tony's Law' Would Require Marijuana Users To Inform Interested Neighbors
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Area Stoner Convinced Everyone On TV Also Stoned
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Meth Addicts Demand Government Address Nation's Growing Spider Menace
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Huge Quantities Of Primo Shit Incinerated By Feds
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Stoner Regales Friends With Tale Of This One Bong He Saw In Iowa City Once
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Report: Your Favorite Player Took Steroids
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Drug Paraphernalia Visible In Photo Of Missing Cat
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Stoner Architect Drafts All-Foyer Mansion
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Everyone Involved In Pizza's Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High
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DEA Chief: Winners Occasionally Use Drugs
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