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Vol 44 Issue 37

Ron Paul Endorses Third Parties

Former Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul has refused to endorse Sen. John McCain or Sen. Barack Obama, calling the race a charade and...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Gadgets

Vehement Anti-Cell-Phone Guy Finally Caves
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Brookstone Scientists 10 Years Away From Towel Alarm Clock
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New Remote Control Can Be Operated By Remote
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New Sony In-Utero TV To Entertain Children In The Womb
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Area Mom: 'I Finally Learned Computers'
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36-Year-Old Still Looking For Ways To Make Brushing Fun
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Computer-Generated Talking Cat On TV Delights Iowa Woman
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Scientists Ask Congress To Fund $50 Billion Science Thing
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VCR Fast-Forwarded With Toe
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Roomba Violates All Three Laws Of Roombotics
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