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OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

Mr. Met’s Son Beginning To Think He Adopted

NEW YORK—Pointing out that there was little physical resemblance between himself and the rest of his family, the 10-year-old son of New York Mets mascot Mr. Met told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to think he was adopted.

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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A Look Back At The Career Of Peyton Manning: The Greatest Of All Time, Depending On Who You Ask, At Least Based On Passing Numbers

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Peyton Manning Shows Up Five Months Early For Training Camp

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Manning To Take Some Time Before Deciding Dungy's Future

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Peyton Manning Studying Saints Game Film From 1974

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Colts Tap Quarterback Peyton Manning To Start Playoff Game

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Peyton On Beginning Of Manning Era In Denver: ‘I Will Break My Neck’

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Peyton Manning Comes Out As Gay For Football

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Peyton Manning Takes Advantage Of Indianapolis Trip To Visit Wife, Children

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Alarming MRI Shows Peyton Manning Has Been Dead For Past 6 Months

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Peyton Manning Cleared To Play Next Season After Passing Verbal Neck Exam

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Football Hall Of Fame Acquires Peyton Manning's Record-Breaking Touchdown-Throwing Arm

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Report: Peyton Manning Played Entire Season With 38-Year-Old Body

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Report: Peyton Manning Lacks Strength To Complete Longer Commercial Takes

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Aging Peyton Manning Now Forced To Take Field With Assistance Dog

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Broncos Quietly Bury Peyton Manning In Unmarked Grave Next To Stadium

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Nervous Peyton Manning Feeling Better After Vomiting Blood Before Game

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Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

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Peyton Manning Tirelessly Studying Footage Of Athletes Denying Allegations

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Peyton Manning Fondly Recalls When Not Winning Super Bowl Was Most Damaging Part Of Legacy

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