Remembering The Campaign Of Mitt Romney: A Man The Nation Will Hopefully Never Hear From Again

In This Section

Vol 48 Issue 45

Anorexic Woman At Gym Looking Good

CHICAGO—Citing her shapeless physique, protruding skeleton, and jaundiced complexion, gym members exercising at a local Equinox Fitness Club on Friday confirmed that the anorexic woman working out on the first floor is looking good. “Oh, man, ...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Spring

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Remembering The Campaign Of Mitt Romney: A Man The Nation Will Hopefully Never Hear From Again

Romney Stuck In Endless Loop Of Uncomfortable Chuckling
Read Full Article
Paul Ryan Wondering If He Should Have Told Romney About This Guy He's Dating
Read Full Article
Mitt Romney Haunted By Past Of Trying To Help Uninsured Sick People
Read Full Article
Ryan Begins Attacking Romney's Record As Massachusetts Governor
Read Full Article
Your Republican Friend To Explain Why Paul Ryan Is Great Choice
Read Full Article
Poll: 63% Of Americans Say They Have A Problem With A Mormon President Who Is Also Mitt Romney
Read Full Article
Romney Appeals To Hispanic Voters For Return Of Watch He Left On Dresser
Read Full Article
Romney Spends Most Of Factory Visit Yelling At Employees To Work Harder
Read Full Article
Romney Just Saying He Grew Up Poor In Memphis Now
Read Full Article
Mitt Romney Frantically Running Around Ohio Smiling And Waving
Read Full Article
Money Man Pulls Even With Black Guy In Latest Poll
Read Full Article
Romney Proudly Explains How He's Turned Campaign Around
Read Full Article
Romney: 'This Is Why They Call Me Turnaround Mitty From Comeback City'
Read Full Article
Romney Enchants Nation With Lovely Concession Song
Read Full Article
'I Want To Congratulate The President,' Romney Says In 240,000th And Final Lie Of Campaign
Read Full Article
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More