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Vol 47 Issue 32

Seeing Eye Dog Really Blows Off Some Steam In Dog Park

FORT COLLINS, CO—From the moment he was let loose in a local dog park Saturday, golden retriever and licensed Seeing Eye dog Biscuit reportedly blew off some steam by jumping up to lick people's faces, urinating on smaller dogs, and chasing almost e...

Obama Proposes Tax Increase On Meanest 2% Of Population

WASHINGTON—In the latest administration initiative meant to reassure citizens nervous about the slow pace of economic recovery, President Obama proposed a tax hike this week for the shittiest, most self-absorbed 2 percent of Americans.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Road Trips

Department Of Needing Transportation: 'Anyone Heading To Tucson This Weekend?'
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Manny Ramirez To David Ortiz: 'Road Trip'
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Trip To Native American Museum Turns Into Cigarette-Buying Spree
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Zip-Lining Day Trip To Somehow Save Marriage
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Stan Van Gundy Gives Players 'Dr. BBQ's Big-Time Barbecue Cookbook' To Read During Road Trip
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United Nations Condemns American Tourist Traps As Inhumane
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Area Family Likes Car So Much They Live In It
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Search For Area Shoney's Intensifies
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Nation Mobilizes For Beautiful Weekend
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Urban Planner Stuck In Traffic Of Own Design
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