State Of The Arts: Our Museums & Theaters

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Vol 45 Issue 40

Reds Cut Magic Number To 17

CINCINNATI—Trailing the first-place Cardinals by only 15 games with less than a week to go in the regular season, the Cincinnati Reds cut their magic number down to 17 with a win over St. Louis Tuesday.
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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

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State Of The Arts: Our Museums & Theaters

John Glenn Installed In Smithsonian
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Unconventional Director Sets Shakespeare Play In Time, Place Shakespeare Intended
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Creationist Museum Acquires 5,000-Year-Old T. Rex Skeleton
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Psychiatrists Treating Phantom Of The Opera Viewers For Post-Melodramatic Stress Disorder
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Trip To Native American Museum Turns Into Cigarette-Buying Spree
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High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds
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National Museum Of The Middle Class Opens In Schaumburg, IL
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Area Man Saddened To Realize Short Jewish Women With An Interest In Theater His Type
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Second-Graders Wow Audience With School Production Of Equus
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Oh No, Performers Coming Into Audience
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