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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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The 2012 Debates: Six Hours Of Sheer Torture

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Biden Implores Obama To 'Rub One Out' Before Debate

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Millions Of Excited Americans Gather To Watch Candidates Deliver Series Of Short, Elaborately Rehearsed Speeches

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Mitt Romney Adopts New ‘Ronnie Ferocious’ Persona For Debates

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Sasha Obama Asks Father Why He Was Acting Like Such A Pussy During Debate

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Ryan Handed Romney's Latest Political Positions Before Walking On Stage

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Biden Puts On Lucky Debate Suit

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Security Removes Biden's Rowdy Buddies From Auditorium

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Ryan Chugs Down Rhino Horn And Bull Semen Shake For Mid-Debate Boost

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Biden Unleashes Torrent Of Vomit On Debate Stage

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Eloquent Biden Brings Entire Audience To Tears In Debate Stunner

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Biden Shares 20-Minute Post-Debate Kiss With Janna Ryan

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Nation Tunes In To See Which Sociopath More Likable This Time

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First Question From Debate Audience Somehow Comes From Paul Ryan

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Millions Head To Internet To Figure Out Their Own Opinions About Debate

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Debate Cut Short As Lantern Fire Burns Down Ol' Town Hall

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Live Coverage Of Last Night's Debate From Onion Politics

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Tearful Mitt Romney Announces He Has Rare Disease Where You Can't Sit Quietly On Stool When Repeatedly Asked To

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Both Candidates Announcing Unmitigated Support For Eugenics Virtually Only Way Tonight's Debate Will Matter At All

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Romney Pledges To Replace All Foreign Policy With Jobs Right Here In America

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Obama Takes Out Romney With Mid-Debate Drone Attack

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Romney Delivers Stern Warning To China, Speaking Directly Into The Camera In Fluent Mandarin

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Entire Nation Now Undecided After 4 Debates

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