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The 2012 GOP Race: Looking Back On A Great Era In American Politics

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Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.

Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.
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The 2012 GOP Race: Looking Back On A Great Era In American Politics

Handmade Anti-Obama Sign Currently Frontrunner For Republican Presidential Nomination

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New GOP Strategy Involves Reelecting Obama, Making His Life Even More Miserable

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GOP Race Heats Up As Candidate In Coma More Appealing Than Rest of Field

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Mitt Romney Haunted By Past Of Trying To Help Uninsured Sick People

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Tim Pawlenty Shaves Off Every Hair On His Body In Really Weird Campaign Gaffe

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Even Newt Gingrich A Little Depressed By Prospect Of Him Running For President

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Michele Bachmann Announces Bid To Be Discussed More Than She Deserves In 2012

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God Urges Rick Perry Not To Run For President

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Huntsman Quietly Relieved To Be Polling Poorly Among GOP Voters

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Romney Courts Hispanic Vote With Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot

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Rick Santorum Relieved No One Has Asked Him About Interracial Marriage Yet

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Voters Slowly Realizing Santorum Believes Every Deranged Word That Comes Out Of His Mouth

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Huntsman Drops Out, Endorses Huntsman

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Latest GOP Debate Concludes With Candidates Wrestling Squealing Pig To Ground And Slaughtering It

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Heartbroken Santorum Condemns Gay Marriage For Two-Timing Jerks Like Nick

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White-Hot GOP Race Down To Two Mentally Ill People, Person Who Lost Nomination Last Time

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Handlers Constantly Reminding Gingrich To Stay On Uninspiring, Belittling Message

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Rick Santorum Asks U.S. Populace If He's Still Running For President

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Did The Media Treat Bachmann Unfairly Because She's An Insane Woman?

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Rick Perry Speech Electrifies 1,200 Scared, Miserable Racists

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Gingrich Privately Regretting Not Doing 'More Jew Stuff' On Florida Campaign Trail

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Romney Celebrates Florida Win With All-Night Miami Beach Rave

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Time Traveler From The Year 1998 Warns Nation Not To Elect Newt Gingrich

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Romney Now Flaunting His Wealth To Impress Voters

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Rick Perry Experiences Overwhelming Feeling Of Clarity And Contentment In Final Moments Before Death Of Campaign

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Herman Cain Endorses Who Gives A Fuck

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Romney Spends Most Of Factory Visit Yelling At Employees To Work Harder

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Poll Shows Best Part Of Primary Season Has Been Really Getting To Know, Spend Time With 4 Great Guys

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Poll: 63% Of Americans Say They Have A Problem With A Mormon President Who Is Also Mitt Romney

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Group Of '90s Footnotes Welcomes Gingrich Home

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Christie 2016 Comes From Nowhere To Win Republican Nomination

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