adBlockCheck

The 2012 GOP Race: Looking Back On A Great Era In American Politics

Top Headlines

Politics

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Donald Trump’s Campaign: Myth Vs. Fact

Donald Trump’s political positions, personal history, and potential governing style have been the subject of much debate throughout the 2016 election. The Onion separates myth from fact in this breakdown of Trump’s campaign:

Report: Well, Here We Go

WASHINGTON—With Donald Trump’s two remaining GOP rivals suspending their candidacies and clearing a path for the billionaire businessman to assume the Republican presidential nomination, reports indicated Wednesday that, well, hoo boy, here we go.

Ted Cruz Dressed For Campaign Rally By Swarm Of Loyal Vermin

INDIANAPOLIS—In what has reportedly become a daily routine on the campaign trail, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz stood alone in the center of his hotel suite Tuesday morning where he was carefully dressed and groomed by a swarm of loyal vermin.

How The GOP Plans To Stop Trump

In response to Donald Trump’s growing presidential primary lead, here’s how Republican Party leaders are ramping up efforts to prevent him from getting enough delegates to win the nomination outright.

It Unclear Why Thousands Of Loud, Chanting Trump Supporters Gathering Outside Arena In Iowa

‘There’s No Event Here, But They Keep Coming,’ Say Concerned Stadium Staff

DES MOINES, IA—Noting that the Republican presidential candidate had not announced any plans to visit Iowa since the state held its caucus 11 weeks ago, baffled sources reported Wednesday that it remains unclear why thousands of loud, cheering Donald Trump supporters are gathering outside the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines.

Obama Caught Trying To Jump White House Fence

WASHINGTON—The White House was briefly placed on lockdown Friday morning after “an addled and emotionally distraught” President Obama was reportedly caught trying to scale the North Lawn fence, the third such attempt this year, Secret Service officials confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

The 2012 GOP Race: Looking Back On A Great Era In American Politics

Handmade Anti-Obama Sign Currently Frontrunner For Republican Presidential Nomination

Go To Article

New GOP Strategy Involves Reelecting Obama, Making His Life Even More Miserable

Go To Article

GOP Race Heats Up As Candidate In Coma More Appealing Than Rest of Field

Go To Article

Mitt Romney Haunted By Past Of Trying To Help Uninsured Sick People

Go To Article

Tim Pawlenty Shaves Off Every Hair On His Body In Really Weird Campaign Gaffe

Go To Article

Even Newt Gingrich A Little Depressed By Prospect Of Him Running For President

Go To Article

Michele Bachmann Announces Bid To Be Discussed More Than She Deserves In 2012

Go To Article

God Urges Rick Perry Not To Run For President

Go To Article

Huntsman Quietly Relieved To Be Polling Poorly Among GOP Voters

Go To Article

Romney Courts Hispanic Vote With Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot

Go To Article

Rick Santorum Relieved No One Has Asked Him About Interracial Marriage Yet

Go To Article

Voters Slowly Realizing Santorum Believes Every Deranged Word That Comes Out Of His Mouth

Go To Article

Huntsman Drops Out, Endorses Huntsman

Go To Article

Latest GOP Debate Concludes With Candidates Wrestling Squealing Pig To Ground And Slaughtering It

Go To Article

Heartbroken Santorum Condemns Gay Marriage For Two-Timing Jerks Like Nick

Go To Article

White-Hot GOP Race Down To Two Mentally Ill People, Person Who Lost Nomination Last Time

Go To Article

Handlers Constantly Reminding Gingrich To Stay On Uninspiring, Belittling Message

Go To Article

Rick Santorum Asks U.S. Populace If He's Still Running For President

Go To Article

Did The Media Treat Bachmann Unfairly Because She's An Insane Woman?

Go To Article

Rick Perry Speech Electrifies 1,200 Scared, Miserable Racists

Go To Article

Gingrich Privately Regretting Not Doing 'More Jew Stuff' On Florida Campaign Trail

Go To Article

Romney Celebrates Florida Win With All-Night Miami Beach Rave

Go To Article

Time Traveler From The Year 1998 Warns Nation Not To Elect Newt Gingrich

Go To Article

Romney Now Flaunting His Wealth To Impress Voters

Go To Article

Rick Perry Experiences Overwhelming Feeling Of Clarity And Contentment In Final Moments Before Death Of Campaign

Go To Article

Herman Cain Endorses Who Gives A Fuck

Go To Article

Romney Spends Most Of Factory Visit Yelling At Employees To Work Harder

Go To Article

Poll Shows Best Part Of Primary Season Has Been Really Getting To Know, Spend Time With 4 Great Guys

Go To Article

Poll: 63% Of Americans Say They Have A Problem With A Mormon President Who Is Also Mitt Romney

Go To Article

Group Of '90s Footnotes Welcomes Gingrich Home

Go To Article

Christie 2016 Comes From Nowhere To Win Republican Nomination

Go To Article

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close