The Onion Bids Farewell To The 261st Best Pope Of All Time

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 09

Rats’ Brains Connected Via Internet

Creating the first ever brain-to-brain interface, scientists have connected the brains of lab rats via Internet cables, allowing the animals to communicate motor information to one another even when they’re thousands of miles apart.

Josh Lemberg

Josh Lemberg made sure not to get any of the other dogs’ hopes up while choosing a pet at the local shelter

Dennis Rodman Calls Kim Jong-Un 'Awesome Guy'

During a goodwill trip to North Korea, former NBA star Dennis Rodman was seen palling around with the country’s leader Kim Jong-un, whom Rodman called a “friend for life,” while also praising Kim’s father and grandfather, Kim Jong-...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Late Night

The Onion Bids Farewell To The 261st Best Pope Of All Time

Pope Makes First Papal Visit To Six Flags
Read Full Article
Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States
Read Full Article
Panicked, Sweat-Covered Pope Reverses Longstanding Ban On Abortion
Read Full Article
Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels
Read Full Article
Pope To Ease Up On Jesus Talk
Read Full Article
Pope Vows To Crack Down On Crime In Vatican City Slum
Read Full Article
Vatican Reverses Stance On Gay Marriage After Meeting Tony And Craig
Read Full Article
Vatican Dispatches Elite Team Of Bishops To Sabotage Contraceptive Manufacturer
Read Full Article
Trusted Sistine Chapel Janitor Convicted Of Sexually Abusing Last 4 Popes
Read Full Article
Group Of Hunky Cardinals Appeal To Pope To Relax Celibacy Requirement
Read Full Article
Pope Tweets Picture Of Self With God
Read Full Article
Pope Reaches Out To Catholic Youth By Joining Twitter, Giving Up On Catholicism
Read Full Article
Rare Pornographic Movie Shot At Vatican For First Time Since 1982's 'Pope Fisters IV'
Read Full Article
Resigning Pope No Longer Has Strength To Lead Church Backward
Read Full Article
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More