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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Arby's Now Charging $2.99 To Let Customers Go Behind Counter, Grab Handfuls Of Roast Beef

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'Huffington Post' Employee Sucked Into Aggregation Turbine

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Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie Arrive On Oscar Red Carpet 12 Hours Early

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Supreme Court Justices Drowsily Bid One Another Good Night While Drifting Off To Sleep In Giant Shared Bed

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Biden To Honor Fallen Soldiers By Jumping Motorcycle Over Vietnam Memorial

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Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day

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Area Family Awakes To Find Michelle Obama Tending Backyard Garden

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Obama Up Early Cooking Breakfast In One Of Michelle's Extra Long T-Shirts

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Fed Chief Makes Diplomatic Visit To Econopolis

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Gay Marine Beaten To Bloody Pulp To Fire Up RNC Crowd

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Romney, Ryan Sneak Into DNC While Posing As Caterers

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Biden Says Life Better Than It Was 4 Years Ago But Nothing Can Touch Summer Of '87

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Munchstrosity Created In Frito-Layboratory

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Florida To Experiment With New 600-Lever Voting Machines

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Mitt Romney Adopts New ‘Ronnie Ferocious’ Persona For Debates

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Naked, Tied-Up Paul Ryan Tells Staff He Can’t Prepare For Debate Unless They Slap Him Harder

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U.S. Signs Declaration Of Dependence On China

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Ron Paul Elected Ruler Of Planet Inhabited By 1 Billion Tiny Ron Pauls

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