The Rise Of Obama

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Vol 45 Issue 04

Area Teen Up To Something

GREENFIELD, OH—"I don't like how I can't see his face," said a resident, who attributed the teen’s behavior to the music industry's lack of positive role models.

Tina Turner Burns Down Legs For Insurance Money

LOS ANGELES—Police officers arrested Tina Turner this week on suspicion of arson, reckless endangerment, and insurance fraud, following allegations that the legendary R&B singer burned down her legs for financial gain.

New Virus Infects One In 16 PCs

A computer scan by Panda Security showed that almost 6 percent of Windows systems were infected with the Conficker/Downanup worm, which harvests...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Small Business


Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

The Rise Of Obama

Hillary Clinton Threatened By Black Man
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Barack Obama 'Tiger Beat' Cover Clinches Slumber Party Vote
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Obama Modifies 'Yes We Can' Message To Exclude Area Loser
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Southern Sheriff Pulls Over Obama Campaign Bus For Broken Taillight
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Obama Practices Looking-Off-Into-Future Pose
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Obama Purchases Ad Space On Side Of McCain’s Bus
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Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress
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Obama Inauguration Speech Ruined By Incessant Jackhammering
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