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Vol 48 Issue 08

Bob Peterson

Bob Peterson, 47, walked up to his wife and gave her a big fat kiss in front of everyone.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Race Relations

Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

The Week In Pictures

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Boy Loses Leg In Totally Awesome Shark Attack
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NewsBlitz: Senate Session Interrupted By Wailing Of Ted Kennedy's Ghost
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Disturbed Beltway Sources Report Congress Eerily Cooperative Today
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MMA Fighter Unfortunately Discovers True Love For First Time On Morning Of Big Fight
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Leaf From "Tree Of Life" Frontrunner For Best Actor Oscar
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Obama: No Option Off The Table Except Snatching Iran's Leaders With Hook Lowered From Plane And Flying Them To Washington
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Great Team Chemistry No Match For Great Team Biology
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Exhausted Sweatshop Worker Just Has To Laugh After Sewing Fingers Together
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Nation Trying, Okay?
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Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie Arrive On Oscar Red Carpet 12 Hours Early
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