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Vol 48 Issue 19

Cliffhanger High

Noggin 4:00 p.m. EST/3:00 p.m. CST All-state baseball pitcher Russ throws two strikes to the opposing team's star player, the girls nervously shuffle on stage for the regional cheerleading competition, Principal Wolf dials the number of the clinic to lea...

Guitar Music Fad Runs Course

CLEVELAND—Nearly six decades after electric-guitar-based rock and roll began its dominance of mainstream popular music, the fad has finally run its course, a group of fans, critics, and record industry executives confirmed Sunday.

5-Year-Old Announces Circle No Longer Her Favorite Shape

ALLENTOWN, PA—Radically reversing nearly three weeks of precedent, local 5-year-old Tricia Billings announced Saturday that the circle was no longer her favorite shape. "Circles aren't my favorite anymore," said Billings, denouncing t...

Not The New York Philharmonic

PBS 9:00 p.m. EST/8:00 p.m. CST A pre-taped concert that doesn’t feature some of the greatest musicians in the country, thank God.
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

The Week In Pictures

Paula Deen Sponsors .05K Walk For Diabetes Research
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In Bipartisan Spirit, Obama Makes Deal To Get Kicked In Balls
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Rajon Rondo: 'I Have Too Many Father Figures On This Team'
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Maya Angelou Thought She’d Be Invited To More White House Stuff
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This Week In History: Sears Tower Constructed With Bold Challenge To God Engraved On Roof (1972)
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Steve Nash Has Emotional Goodbye With Host Family
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Obama Blasts Obama's Evasive Stance On Gay Marriage
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Nation's Moms Invent New Recreational Drug To Worry About
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Ahmadinejad Kind Of Getting Back Into Old R.E.M. Again
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5-Year-Old Announces Circle No Longer Her Favorite Shape
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