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Vol 48 Issue 28

Captain Actual America Overweight, Hopelessly In Debt

Comic Con is once again marred by the increasingly popular Bully-Con, a weird glitch causes 'The Amazing Spider-Man' to reboot in the middle of the movie, and the 'Richie Rich' comic strip introduces a new, even gayer character.

Bin Laden's Cook Released From Gitmo

After 10 years as a prisoner at Guantánamo Bay, 52-year-old Ibrahim al-Qosi, who served as a cook at an al-Qaeda compound in Afghanistan, was released and allowed to return to Sudan.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

The Week In Pictures

Daniel Tosh Chuckles Through Own Violent Rape
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George Zimmerman Not Going To Let One Bad Experience Deter Him From Neighborhood Watch Responsibilities
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Ron Paul Makes Campaign Stop In Whimsical Jalopy
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Obama Pledges To Repeal Health Care Law If Reelected
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Comic-Con Once Again Marred By Increasingly Popular Bully-Con
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Romney Receives 20-Minute Standing Ovation At NAAWP Event
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'Dark Knight Rises' Opts For Lighthearted, Cartoonish Tone
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95 Killed In Rush For Free Flames In Nigerian Tanker Fire
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Under Armour Celebrates 5 Years Of Dominating Roided-Out-High-School-Asshole Market
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