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Vol 48 Issue 38

The Bird Sniffer

PBS 8:00 p.m. EDT/7:00 p.m. CDT Ornithologist and acclaimed odor-describer Dr. Charles Wemple attempts to get a rare whiff of a freshly hatched ivory-billed woodpecker before the mother pecks the bejeezus out of his face.

Area Mom Was Waiting In The Car For 20 Minutes

LEXINGTON, MA—According to sources within the car-pool lane at Lexington High School, your mom has been waiting for you in the car for over 20 minutes, and now she’s going to be late, which is just great.

That Chair Over There

No one’s using it at the moment. Go ahead, take a seat. You can always get up if someone comes back.

Drunk Women Find Their Run Across Busy Street Hilarious

HOUSTON—An intoxicated cross-intersection run was found uproariously funny Saturday night when the drunken staff of the Clips ’N’ Curls hair salon engaged in a disorganized and evidently humorous trek past the intersection of Main Street...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fantasy Sports

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Healthy Eating

The Week In Pictures

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Newborn Loses Faith In Humanity After Record 6 Days
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Stephen A. Smith Thinking Son Is Finally Ready For The Sex Argument
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Fun-Loving Turtle All Business When It's Feeding Time
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Skipping Out On Friend's Birthday Party At Last Minute Closest Woman Will Ever Come To Feeling Rush Of Heroin
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Romney Apologizes To Nation's 150 Million 'Starving, Filthy Beggars'
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Romney Campaign Sends In Champion Of The Poor Paul Ryan For Damage Control
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Report: It's Not Okay To Just Start Talking To People You Don’t Know
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Andrew Luck Gets First Whatever It’s Called When You Beat The Minnesota Vikings
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Everyone At Airport Delighted By Chubby Family Rapidly Waddling Toward Gate
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'What About That Whole Birth Certificate Thing?' Romney Suggests To Staff
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Partygoer Rolls A Couple Of Fat Burritos To Pass Around
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Egyptian Woman Wishes Screaming Protester Husband Would Go Bonkers For Her Once In A While
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