The Week In Pictures

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Vol 48 Issue 42

Romney Blimp Makes Emergency Landing

While flying over Boca Raton, FL yesterday ahead of the final presidential debate, a blimp bearing the likeness of the Republican presidential nominee and the phrase “America Needs Romney” was forced by high winds to make an emergency landing.

The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information--such as the life stage...

Chelsea Burns and Robert Jacobs

Chelsea Burns and Robert Jacobs were married at sunset Saturday on a picturesque Hawaiian beach inside Chelsea's head, while the rest of her body was at the actual ceremony near the seventh hole of the golf club Robert's dad belongs to.

Romney Stands Behind Ryan To Show Good Campaigning Stance

COLUMBUS, OH—In order to demonstrate proper campaign posture, Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney stood behind running mate Paul Ryan on Saturday and gently guided the younger man’s hips and elbows into an ideal speaking stance, source...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Innovation

Fun

  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

The Week In Pictures

Hire Of Local Moron Gives Nation Hope For Employment
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Romney: 'This Is Why They Call Me Turnaround Mitty From Comeback City'
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Jerry Sandusky Hoping Judge Takes It Easy On Him With Sentencing
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U.S. Treasury Cowboy Claims Something Done Spooked Economy
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Chiefs Scold Fans For Cheering Brady Quinn
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Romney Frantically Figuring Out How Tax Plan Could Actually Work After Realizing He Might Win Election
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Nation Did Not See Mark Wahlberg's Sex Change Coming
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Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared Shirt
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Biden's Handlers Suggesting He Forget The Words 'Pink' And 'Stink' Altogether
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Justice Ginsburg Throws Party While 120-Year-Old Parents Away For Weekend
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Naked, Tied-Up Paul Ryan Tells Staff He Can’t Prepare For Debate Unless They Slap Him Harder
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Ryan Chugs Down Rhino Horn And Bull Semen Shake For Mid-Debate Boost
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Eloquent Biden Brings Entire Audience To Tears In Debate Stunner
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King Hippo's New Boxing Gym Allows 8-Bit Teenagers To Get Off Pixelated Streets
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