The Week In Pictures

In This Section

Vol 48 Issue 42

Romney Blimp Makes Emergency Landing

While flying over Boca Raton, FL yesterday ahead of the final presidential debate, a blimp bearing the likeness of the Republican presidential nominee and the phrase “America Needs Romney” was forced by high winds to make an emergency landing.

The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information--such as the life stage...

Chelsea Burns and Robert Jacobs

Chelsea Burns and Robert Jacobs were married at sunset Saturday on a picturesque Hawaiian beach inside Chelsea's head, while the rest of her body was at the actual ceremony near the seventh hole of the golf club Robert's dad belongs to.

Romney Stands Behind Ryan To Show Good Campaigning Stance

COLUMBUS, OH—In order to demonstrate proper campaign posture, Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney stood behind running mate Paul Ryan on Saturday and gently guided the younger man’s hips and elbows into an ideal speaking stance, source...

Boy Scouts Release Sex-Abuse Documents

The Boy Scouts of America released 14,500 pages of so-called “perversion files,” which include details of child molestation at the hands of scoutmasters between 1959 and 1985, and reveal that more than a third of such instances were not report...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Internet

Holiday

The Week In Pictures

Obama Excited To Participate In First Debate
Read Full Article
'The Onion' Wins Nobel Prize
Read Full Article
Lyndon Johnson Pulls Ahead In Poll Of Nation's Alzheimer's Patients
Read Full Article
Area Man On Personal Mission To Explain Why Universally Enjoyed Things Are Bad
Read Full Article
Savvy Man Registers 'Sleepy Romney' Twitter Account Just In Case Candidate Looks Tired
Read Full Article
Nation Tunes In To See Which Sociopath More Likable This Time
Read Full Article
Nation's Ever So Malleable Simpletons Fluttering Between Candidates Like Shuttlecocks Through Every Moment Of Debate
Read Full Article
Romney To Town Hall Audience: 'I Own Horses And Care For Them, And You Are All Like Horses'
Read Full Article
Tearful Mitt Romney Announces He Has Rare Disease Where You Can't Sit Quietly On Stool When Repeatedly Asked To
Read Full Article
Study: Human Imagination Capable Of Magnificent Things During Masturbation
Read Full Article
CDC Announces Americans Should Make Plans To Say Goodbye To Loved Ones
Read Full Article
Paramedics Rush To Revive God Following Latest Suicide Attempt
Read Full Article
'I Feel Your Pain,' Romney Tells Campaign Rally Attendees Who Make $20 Million A Year
Read Full Article
Romney Stands Behind Ryan To Show Good Campaigning Stance
Read Full Article
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More