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Vol 48 Issue 43

Meat Loaf Endorses Romney

Performing after the band Big & Rich at a Romney rally last night, Meat Loaf offered the candidate an unusual, rambling endorsement in which the 65-year-old rocker mentioned that he had never been involved in politics before, that the Cold War is not ...

Man Throws Money At Problem

A birthday card is discreetly passed around the office like some sort of covert CIA operation, Apple's gag division unveils the sleekest fake dog shit to date, and cactus scientists recommend drinking 8 cups of water per year.

U.S. Signs Declaration Of Dependence On China

WASHINGTON—In what is certain to be regarded as a defining moment in the nation’s history, leading U.S. political figures gathered at the Capitol today to sign their names to the newly drafted Declaration of Dependence ...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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The Week In Pictures

Weeping Obama Breaks Down, Admits Bin Laden Still Alive And Out There Somewhere
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Wild Fall Break Parties Pose Risks For College Students
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Romney Delivers Stern Warning To China, Speaking Directly Into The Camera In Fluent Mandarin
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Obama Takes Out Romney With Mid-Debate Drone Attack
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This Last Story Ever Written About Cycling
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Coworker Hastily Leaves Break Room To Avoid 'Here Comes The Boom' Spoilers
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Latest Study Finds Cancer Cells Now Cruelly Mocking Researchers
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Trump Announces He's A Very Sad Man
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'Mother Mary Was Essentially Raped,' Mourdock Says While Digging Self Into Deeper Hole
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Apple's Gag Division Unveils Sleekest Fake Dog Shit To Date
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Cactus Scientists Recommend Drinking 8 Cups Of Water Per Year
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Birthday Card Discreetly Passed Around Office Like Some Sort Of Covert CIA Operation
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Baseball Hall Of Fame Getting Depraved Urge To Induct Jose Canseco
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U.S. Signs Declaration Of Dependence On China
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