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Vol 48 Issue 48

Congress Arrested On Manslaughter Charges

WASHINGTON—In a stunning development that has left every federal institution reeling, the U.S. government’s legislative branch was arrested this afternoon on 23.3 million separate charges of manslaughter, sources confirmed. Citing numerous let...

Congress Arrested On Manslaughter Charges

In a stunning development that has left every federal institution reeling, the U.S. government’s legislative branch was arrested this afternoon on 23.3 million separate charges of manslaughter, sources confirmed.

Reports Of Movie Being Good Reach Area Man

CHICAGO—Local resident Daniel Paxson has reportedly heard dozens of accounts from numerous friendly sources in the past two weeks confirming that the new James Bond film is pretty good.

Nick Moyer

In a private ceremony Thursday night, members of Kappa Delta Psi honored the memory of their recently deceased fraternity brother Nick Moyer by doing what he loved best: drinking a lot of Busch and showing their dicks to one another.

U.N. Votes To Recognize Palestine

Over the strong opposition of the United States and Israel, the U.N. General Assembly voted 138 to 9 to grant the West Bank and Gaza Strip status as a “non-member observer state,” moving one step closer to recognizing Palestinian sovereignty. What do you think?
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The Week In Pictures

Detectives Overlooked Casey Anthony's 'I Killed My Daughter' AMA On Reddit
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Reporter Investigates Claims He Ruined His Family's Thanksgiving Dinner
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New Season Of 'Downton Abbey' Jumps Forward To Year 2121
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Filthy Mitt Romney Delivers Campaign Speech To Audience Of Confused Shoppers In Ohio Safeway
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High School For Performing Arts Student Dealing With Really Weird Social Pressures
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BREAKING: No Way Egypt Coming Out Of This With A Functional Democracy
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Dept. Of Interior Releases New Stick
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Powerball Officials Admit They Lost All The Balls
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UPDATE: Powerball Execs Find Missing Powerballs
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Lax PetSmart Background Check Allows Deranged Gerbil To Slip Through The Cracks
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Fuck It, Man On Death Row Just Going To Read Entire Harry Potter Series
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'I Am A Brand,' Pathetic Man Says
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Powerball Winners Already Divorced, Bankrupt
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'Boy Meets World' Spin-Off A Dream Come True For Fans Who Grew Up In, Still Live In '90s
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