The Week In Pictures

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Vol 48 Issue 50

Fuck Everything, Nation Reports

WASHINGTON—Following the fatal shooting this morning at a Connecticut elementary school that left at least 27 dead, including 20 small children, sources across the nation shook their heads, stifled a sob in their voices, and reported fuck everything...

McDonald's Prints Calorie Count Right Onto Meat

A rare pornographic movie is shot at the Vatican for the first time since 1982's 'Pope Fisters IV,' Taylor Swift is apparently now dating 'Garfield' creator Jim Davis, and Mumford and Sons can't believe they all got each other mandolins for Christmas.

No 'Fiscal Cliff' Deal In Sight

With time running out before the Jan. 1 deadline, President Barack Obama and House Majority Leader John Boehner appear no closer to reaching a deal to avert the “fiscal cliff,” which many economists fear could plunge the nation back into reces...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Innovation

The Week In Pictures

Boehner Just Wants Wife To Listen, Not Come Up With Alternative Debt-Reduction Ideas
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Furious Bleacher Report Editor Will Make Staff Rank Things All Fucking Night If He Has To
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The Onion's Plan For Solving The Fiscal Cliff Crisis
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CVS Poised To Be Nation's Top Seller Of Shitty Office Party Gifts For Your Coworkers
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Toddler Leaders Call For Increased Duck Visibility
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Kidnappers' Demands Only Make Sense Given Economy
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Taylor Swift Apparently Now Dating 'Garfield' Creator Jim Davis
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Slovenian 8th-Graders Surprised Even They Outperformed U.S. Students In Science
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Guys With Boring Jobs Really Hitting It Off A Few Rows Back On Airplane
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Movie Studio Blows Whole Budget On Big-Name Gaffer
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Roger Goodell Proposes Eliminating Ball From NFL
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Fuck Everything, Nation Reports
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Report: It Okay To Spend Rest Of Day Curled In Fetal Position Under Desk
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Right To Own Handheld Device That Shoots Deadly Metal Pellets At High Speed Worth All Of This
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'Right To Live Life In Complete, Stunned Horror,' Added To Constitution
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