The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 7, 2014

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Vol 50 Issue 14

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Client pitch, circa 1961

Scholars: ‘Gospel Of Jesus’ Wife’ Authentic

Two years after the discovery of a papyrus that includes the phrase “Jesus said to them, ‘my wife,’” researchers have announced that the fragment is not a forgery and was likely written in the Middle Ages, though it does not necess...

Woman Barely Jogging

PORTLAND, OR—Making negligible movements with her arms and legs as she sluggishly made her way along the sidewalk, a woman gradually progressing down Madison Street Friday was barely even jogging, sources confirmed.

Last Living California Raisin Dies Of Prostate Cancer

BEVERLY HILLS, CA—Beebop, the percussionist and last surviving member of the 1980s R&B supergroup The California Raisins, died Thursday following a lengthy battle with prostate cancer, multiple sources confirmed this morning.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Healthy Eating

Race Relations

The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 7, 2014

Michelle Obama Introduces Exercise Program To Combat Obesity In Professional Baseball Players
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Recovering Alcoholic Doesn’t Need Friends To Have A Good Time
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Flight Attendant Quietly Informs First Class Passengers Where Real Emergency Exits Are
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Older Cousin Thinks It About Time To Have Uninformed Sex Talk With Area 8-Year-Old
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Netflix Town Criers Announce Arrival Of ‘Mad Men’ Season 6 On Streaming
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Lazy Wildlife Rescuer Lets Oily Pelicans Pile Up In Sink For 5 Days
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Study Finds Majority Of Non-Shark-Related Fears Completely Unjustified
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New Law Requires Richard Gere To Personally Inform Residents When He Moves To New Neighborhood
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NBA Players Unhappy About New Full-Body Jerseys
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Increasing Number Of Men Pressured To Accept Realistic Standards Of Female Beauty
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Study Finds Earth Located In Lamest Part Of Universe
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Woman Tragically Succumbs To Natural Hair Color
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The Onions Tips For Nailing A Job Interview
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FedEx Confirms More Than 600,000 People Try To Mail Themselves Each Year
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‘Forbes’ Releases 2014 List Of Most Punchable CEOs
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