The Week In Pictures – Week Of August 18, 2014

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Vol 50 Issue 33

God Knocked Unconscious By DirectTV Satellite

THE HEAVENS—Noting that He was a little shaken but would be all right, sources confirmed Friday that the Lord God Almighty, Our Heavenly Father, was struck by a DirecTV satellite approximately 22,000 miles above earth, rendering Him unconscious for ...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

The Week In Pictures – Week Of August 18, 2014

Wedding Vows Explicitly Mention Price Of Ceremony
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Hospital Comforts Patients With New Therapy Oyster Program
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Area Woman's Type Tall, Athletic Men Who Have Already Hurt Her
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George Clooney Enjoys Another Rousing Evening At Home With Mummified Members Of Rat Pack
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The Onion Looks Back At 'Dirty Dancing'
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Area Man Feels Even Lazier When He Thinks About How Much ISIS Has Accomplished This Year
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Decades Of Blasts In Middle East Beginning To Expose Earth’s Mantle
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Asexually Reproduced Sea Sponge Worried She’s Turning Into Herself
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Weird New Cereal Sets Tone For First Weekend At Divorced Dad’s
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Documentary A Scathing Indictment Of Director’s Filmmaking Skills
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New Nike Running App Tells You What You’re Really Running From
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Livestock Happiest, Healthiest Attendees Of State Fair
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Man Brings Son Into Office To See Where Dad Emasculated
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Report: More Americans Relying On Grandparents To Help Fuck Up Their Kids
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Obama Has Colorado Appraised
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