The Week In Pictures – Week Of December 2, 2013

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 48

Infertile Aunt Doing It Up Big At Kids Table

CHICOPEE, MA—Eliciting repeated waves of laughter and making sure to include everyone in her lively conversations, local aunt Gina Coleman, a childless and infertile woman, is really hamming it up at the kids table this Thanksgiving, sources have co...

Nation Celebrates Thanksgiving

All across the country, Americans are gathering with their loved ones to celebrate Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for this year?

Comet Could Light Up Sky In Northern Hemisphere

The comet ISON will fly close to the sun on Thursday, and if it manages to survive without being ripped apart, astronomers say the celestial body could produce a brilliant spectacle in the Northern Hemisphere that’s visible to the naked eye througho...

School Teacher Not About To Risk Her Life For Derek

CLARKSVILLE, TN—Saying she felt no responsibility whatsoever to protect the 14-year-old student if it meant dying for the kid, local East Parkview High School history teacher Angela Wells told reporters today that in the event of a school shooting, ...

The Onion’s Tips For Traveling Over The Holidays

You never know when you’ll get stranded at an airport or train station, so make sure you don’t go hungry by packing two large burlap sacks full of steak meat and apples. Exchange knowing glances with the TSA agent. You’re one of the goo...

Total Nerd Actually Owns His Own Computer

PROVIDENCE, RI—Matthew Jorgensen, a complete and total nerd who sources speculate likely has no tangible social life, actually both owns and regularly uses his own personal computer, reports from those with knowledge of Jorgensen’s geeky hobby...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Innovation

Spring

The Week In Pictures – Week Of December 2, 2013

Hundreds Killed In Brutal Pro-Something–Anti-Something Clash
Read Full Article
U.S. Continues Dependence On Foreign Toil
Read Full Article
Nation Has To Sell Lake House
Read Full Article
British Royal Family Sadly Announces Death Of Prince Charming
Read Full Article
Archaeologists Discover Site Where Desperate Jesus Christ Turned Tricks
Read Full Article
FAA Issues Holiday Reminder That Planes Can Crash And Kill You
Read Full Article
Total Nerd Actually Owns His Own Computer
Read Full Article
Monaco Teen Doesn’t Want To Fall Into Townie Life Of Being Billionaire Race-Car-Driving Playboy
Read Full Article
Individuals Unaware They Constitute Area Man’s Support Network
Read Full Article
Infertile Aunt Doing It Up Big At Kids Table
Read Full Article
Pope Francis Canonizes Single Turkey In Annual Vatican Tradition
Read Full Article
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More