The Week In Pictures – Week Of January 20, 2014

In This Section

Vol 50 Issue 03

Jay Z Honored To Be Nominated In Same Category As Jay Z

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he was thrilled to be considered alongside such a talented and respected musician, hip-hop artist and 2014 Best Rap Album Grammy nominee Jay Z told reporters today that he feels “deeply honored” to be nominated in...

Lunchbox Mostly Medication

Inclement weather prevents a liar from getting to work, thousands of athletes who will disgrace their country eagerly train for the Winter Olympics, and a lunchbox is mostly medication.

Mascot Absolutely Reeks

SYRACUSE, NY—Saying that they probably never clean the thing, sources confirmed Friday that Syracuse University’s mascot Otto the Orange absolutely reeked as he wove his way in and out of stands.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comfort

  • Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

Energy

The Week In Pictures – Week Of January 20, 2014

BREAKING: Hundreds Feared Dead In Coors Light Party Train Crash
Read Full Article
Woman Beginning To Suspect Husband Having Second Affair
Read Full Article
Pilot Tells Passengers He’s About To Try Something
Read Full Article
New Study Reveals Nothing Pfizer’s Lawyers Can’t Take Care Of
Read Full Article
Mandatory Unisex Golden Globes Uniforms Keep Focus On Stars’ Work
Read Full Article
Swift Boat Veterans For Truth Clear John Kerry After Exhaustive 9-Year Investigation
Read Full Article
Obama Not Ruling Out U.S. Military Action In Congress
Read Full Article
187 Images, Which, If Rapidly Clicked Through, Will Create The Illusion Of Motion
Read Full Article
Parents Of Adorable Baby On TV Show Most Likely Insane
Read Full Article
Unemployed, Miserable Man Still Remembers Teacher Who First Made Him Fall In Love With Writing
Read Full Article
Nation Recalls Simpler Time When Health Care System Was Broken Beyond Repair
Read Full Article
Netflix Instant Thinking About Adding Good Movie
Read Full Article
Spaced-Out Flower Child Groovin’ On A Doobie Wave
Read Full Article
Seahawks To Seattle Fans: ‘Shut The Fuck Up’
Read Full Article
‘And Yet, Is Not Beef Itself An Expression Of Wanton Lust?’ Bizarre New McDonald’s Ad Asks
Read Full Article
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More