The Week In Pictures – Week Of July 15, 2013

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Vol 49 Issue 28

Study: Diet Soda Doesn’t Aid Weight Loss

A recent study by Purdue University has found that, contrary to popular thinking, drinking diet soda doesn’t aid in weight loss, and that its consumption can actually increase the likelihood of obesity and development of precursors to diabetes, card...

The Onion's Tips For Treating A Sunburn

Find cool, secluded aisle at Walgreens and generously slather on any of the wide variety of moisturizers available on the shelves Place body in cool, dark hole under 5 to 6 feet of dirt For true pain relief, morphine is really the only way to go, or obvi...

Microsoft Announces Major Company Overhaul

In a bid to compete more fiercely with competitors like Apple, Google, and Amazon, Microsoft on Thursday announced a sweeping reorganization, which officials say will help the company react more quickly to changing technology and speed up development of p...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.


Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

The Week In Pictures – Week Of July 15, 2013

Facebook: ‘We Will Make Our Product Worse, You Will Be Upset, And Then You Will Live With It’
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FAA Advises Asiana Airlines Pilot To Get Back Out There After Crash
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Despite Armie Hammer Profile In ‘Good Housekeeping’ Magazine, ‘Lone Ranger’ A Flop At Box Office
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Area Man Loses All Control Of Face While Thinking
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Zoo Visitors Watch Mating Rituals Of Ice Cream Shop Staff
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Andy Murray Claims It's Kind Of Pathetic Britain Taking So Much Pride In His Win At A Tennis Tournament
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Jay-Z CEO Resigns After Stock Price Plunges
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Aaron Hernandez Having Great Time In Prison Catching Up With Former Gators Teammates
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Pregnant Wife Has No Idea Which Jonas Brother She Married
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Report: Nation Thinking About Big, Warm Piece Of Cinnamon Coffee Cake Right Now
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Red Roof Inn Announces New Suicidal Suite
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Egyptians Concerned About Direction Government Is Toppling In
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