The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 10, 2014

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Vol 50 Issue 10

Mark Zuckerberg Calls Obama To Complain About Spying

In an open letter he posted this week, Mark Zuckerberg wrote that he called President Obama to express his concerns about the NSA’s mass surveillance programs, which the Facebook founder considers a huge threat to the future of the internet.

Frugal Couple Saves Money By Making Own Porn

KIRKSVILLE, MO—Saying they’re trying to tighten their belts where they can and cut back on costly erotica expenses, local couple Christopher and Ellen Landstrom told reporters Friday they have been able to save money by making their own porn a...

Dog Doesn’t Consider Itself Part Of Family

THOMASVILLE, GA—While admitting that he relies on members of the family for food and shelter and is often included in household activities and family photographs, local 6-year-old golden retriever Pepper told reporters Friday that he in no way consi...

Sexual Predator Gets Tenure

Obama spends the afternoon in a garage restoring a classic drone, McDonald’s is now offering bereavement prices, and a sexual predator gets tenure.

Number Of Adults On ADHD Meds Reaches New High

According to a new report, the number of adults taking prescription medications for ADHD rose 50 percent between 2008 and 2012, leading many to question whether doctors are overprescribing the meds.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 10, 2014

Military Recruiter Doesn’t Have To Dig Too Far Into Bag Of Tricks To Land This One
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Francis Ford Coppola Reveals Every ‘Godfather’ Film Took Place In Same Narrative World
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Ukrainian-Russian Tensions Dividing U.S. Citizens Along Ignorant, Apathetic Lines
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Empire State Building Reopens Spire To Visitors
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Dishwasher Broke
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15 Years In Environment Of Constant Fear Somehow Fails To Rehabilitate Prisoner
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New Marijuana Study Says Everyone Knows You're High And You'll Likely Be Stoned Forever
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John Kerry Sits In Shadows Of Kiev Café Awaiting Woman Known Only As Dasha
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12-Year-Old Couldn’t Begin To Guess Name Of Friend Whose House He Visits To Play Xbox
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Report: Mom’s Got Her Thing Tonight
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Study Links Meat, Sugar Consumption To Early Death Among Those Who Choose To Be Happy In Life
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Report: Burying, Cremating Baby Boomers To Generate $200 Trillion In GDP
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Parents Urge Son To Invest In Improv Comedy Education
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BREAKING: Imperial Inspector To Arrive By Railcar This Very Afternoon
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Paranoid Oscar Pistorius Still Thinks Burglar After Him
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