The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 17, 2014

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Vol 50 Issue 11

Cheddar Cheese Prices Skyrocket Due To Chinese Demand

The Dairy Export Council reported this week that the cost of cheddar cheese climbed 18 percent this year to its highest price ever because domestic manufacturers have been unable to meet the demand for cheese by Chinese purchasers.

Lowly Mortal Opens Portal To Hell

John Kerry poses as a masseuse to get a few minutes with Putin, parents reminisce to their children about the dating algorithm that brought them together, and a lowly mortal opens a portal to hell.

Surge Answered With Rally

SAN DIEGO—With a succession of quick baskets during the NCAA Tournament Friday, sources confirmed that a surge was quickly answered by a rally.

Sleep Loss Can Cause Brain Damage

A study published this week in the journal Neuroscience found that inconsistent sleep patterns, including not sleeping enough and sleeping erratic hours, can result in an irreversible loss of brain neurons.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

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The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 17, 2014

Expectant Parents Throw Some Values Together At Last Minute
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Company President Started Out As Fertilized Embryo
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Man Who Treats Women With Respect Asked What His Secret Is
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Dog Held Against Will Inside Skype Window
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McDonald’s Now Offering Bereavement Prices
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Report: No One Will Ever Stack Up To Your Eighth-Grade Boyfriend
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‘The Onion’ Offers Richie Incognito A 5-Year, $50 Million Contract
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Important Decision Sent Up To Company's Highest Idiot
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Southwest Airlines Rolls Out New ‘Loyalty Goes Both Ways’ Campaign
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Area Mother Doesn’t See Why Thai People Need To Make Food So Spicy
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Report: Only 20 Minutes Until Introverted Man Gets To Leave Party
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Scientists Confirm Statues Humans’ Closest Nonliving Relative
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Dad From 2150 Can’t Get Enough Iraq War Documentaries
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Malaysia Airlines Expands Investigation To Include General Scope Of Space, Time
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Frugal Couple Saves Money By Making Own Porn
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