The Week In Pictures – Week Of November 25, 2013

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Vol 49 Issue 48

Infertile Aunt Doing It Up Big At Kids Table

CHICOPEE, MA—Eliciting repeated waves of laughter and making sure to include everyone in her lively conversations, local aunt Gina Coleman, a childless and infertile woman, is really hamming it up at the kids table this Thanksgiving, sources have co...

Nation Celebrates Thanksgiving

All across the country, Americans are gathering with their loved ones to celebrate Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for this year?

Comet Could Light Up Sky In Northern Hemisphere

The comet ISON will fly close to the sun on Thursday, and if it manages to survive without being ripped apart, astronomers say the celestial body could produce a brilliant spectacle in the Northern Hemisphere that’s visible to the naked eye througho...

School Teacher Not About To Risk Her Life For Derek

CLARKSVILLE, TN—Saying she felt no responsibility whatsoever to protect the 14-year-old student if it meant dying for the kid, local East Parkview High School history teacher Angela Wells told reporters today that in the event of a school shooting, ...

The Onion’s Tips For Traveling Over The Holidays

You never know when you’ll get stranded at an airport or train station, so make sure you don’t go hungry by packing two large burlap sacks full of steak meat and apples. Exchange knowing glances with the TSA agent. You’re one of the goo...

Total Nerd Actually Owns His Own Computer

PROVIDENCE, RI—Matthew Jorgensen, a complete and total nerd who sources speculate likely has no tangible social life, actually both owns and regularly uses his own personal computer, reports from those with knowledge of Jorgensen’s geeky hobby...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

The Week In Pictures – Week Of November 25, 2013

Report: Kanye West, Bill Gates, Tom Hanks All Currently Reading, Enjoying This Article
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Open Floor Plan Increases Office Shooter’s Productivity By 95%
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Report: 92% Of Divorced Parents Get Back Together If Children Ask Enough Times
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Jack Palance Still Dead At 87
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‘Luck’ Producers Still Killing A Lot Of Horses
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Christina Aguilera Tour Canceled Due To Fan Exhaustion
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This First Time Area Man Hearing About Daughter Dating George Zimmerman
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Woman Who Had Almost Formed Healthy Sense Of Self Rejoins Social Media
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Report: Employers Created 40,000 New Jobs For Existing Employees Last Month
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Buddhist Extremist Cell Vows To Unleash Tranquility On West
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11 Steps For Cooking A PERFECT Thanksgiving Turkey
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Passenger Assures Flight Attendant He Has Opened Emergency Exit Dozens Of Times Before
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Inventor Of Gromdar Determined To Put A Gromdar In Every American Home
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The Onion Reviews 'The Hunger Games: Catching Fire'
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Kindergarten Class Burning Through 6 Hamsters A Year
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