The Week In Pictures – Week Of September 23, 2013

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Vol 49 Issue 39

Jay Kogen

Caricature artist Jay Kogen went easy on the jowls.

Onion Sports’ NFL Week Four Picks

OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this weekend’s NFL week four games: 49ers at Rams OSN’s Lock Of The Week: 49ers — The 49ers will rebound after a pair of tough losses in...

Scientists Recommend Having Earth Put Down

FORT COLLINS, CO—Claiming that it is the humane thing to do, and that the planet is “just going to suffer” if kept alive any longer, members of the world’s scientific community recommended today that Earth be put down. “We re...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Business

Comfort

  • Entire Room Mentally Shaving Man's Facial Hair

    WHITE PLAINS, NY—Stunned and visibly offended by the sheer volume of facial hair visible before them, every single customer at local diner Hubbard's this morning was reportedly eyeing 28-year-old fellow patron David Kellerman and mentally shaving of...

The Week In Pictures – Week Of September 23, 2013

250-Pound Man Sadly In Best Shape Of His Life
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Location Of Newest Mass Shooting Revealed
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12-Year-Old Hispanic Boy Not Sure If He’s Supposed To Be Looking Up To Marco Rubio
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Company More Like Family Whose Members Are Desperate To Join Better Family
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Desperate Nation Tries Getting On Board With Mass Shootings
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‘GTA V’ A Sophisticated Gaming Experience, Says Man Who Spent 3 Hours Running Over Homeless People With Fire Truck
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Freshman Dorm Kept Cool By 870 Fans
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New Study Finds Americans Scoot Over At Least 10 Miles Per Year
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Grandmother Shown Around Retirement Home Where She Will Die
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Liquor Commercial Featuring Dance Party On Pirate Ship Also Includes Important Message About Responsibility
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Obama Meets With Nation’s Schizophrenic Voices To Urge Less Violence
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Area Man’s Intelligence Probably Just Too Intimidating For Most Women
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Area Man Unsure If He’s Male-Bonding Or Being Bullied
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Deceitful Woman Deviously Alters Appearance To Give Illusion Of Youth, Fertility
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Old Faithful Brutally Beaten To Death By Group Of Teens
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